She was 15 when she fell in love. It was a beautiful feeling. She thought about him day and night and always wondered whether it was the same with him. They spoke all day. They went out everyday and spent time with each other. She fell for him more and more everyday. She didn't know he would mean so much to her. He said he loved her too and always will. He said that she means a lot to him and he would never give up on her, no matter what. He was possessive and protective and she loved that about him. She loved his smile. She thought it was beautiful and it made her go crazy. Nobody knew him the way she did, she thought, but she was wrong. She never knew him... And life took a turn.
They dated for 3 years. She still remembers every detail of every meeting with him. He meant the world to her. She obeyed him like a slave. She always did what he said but she couldn't expect the same from him and that is when everything changed. She started to doubt. She started getting tensed and was scared because he was always rude to her. She started getting insecure because she thought he would go away to another girl who is much better than her in every way. Even the thought of him romancing someone else gave her chills and she started crying. She knew he was good at heart but she didn't know what was going on. She tried talking to him but he always asked her to keep quiet and not irritate him. She wanted to know what was going on in his mind. In spite of so many problems they faced, he always said that he loved her, no matter how rude he got during fights. They always fought but the love was always there. He was over-possessive, abusive and short-tempered but she always stood by him. He made others feel like she was the one ruining his life by not giving him space but no, the truth was not known by anyone. It was she who went through the torture because according to him a girl should stay in her limits and not enjoy life the way guys do. In short, it was Gender Discrimination that existed here, for 3 years. He was the most egoistic person she ever met! She thought with time, things will change.. he will change but no. It only got worse. It pinched her that he wouldn't listen to her like she listens to him. She always wondered what went wrong and why did he change from a kind, loving boy to a narrow minded, cruel human being.
He always told her that he'd never leave her. He promised a lot of things that sounded very nice and even she did. It was for those promises, that she held on to him for such a long time in spite of knowing that she had so many reasons to leave him and move on, but no, she was tolerant and patient or you can call her a stupid. It didn't matter to her what people said, what mattered the most was this relationship.
Every time they broke up, she felt like her heart has been ripped off. She couldn't take the harsh words. She always cried a river, begged, fell on her knees so that he takes her back, even though it wasn't her fault or not a serious topic to fight about. She lost all her respect just because he meant a lot to her. She didn't know why she did it, she tried to make herself understand too, that it'd never work out, he'll never change but she never gave up. They broke up and got back together again and again , not because she always forced and convinced him but because he always called when she stopped convincing because he missed her. She thought things will change and so will he but no, it only got worse.
When people asked her why didn't she give up on him before, inspite of knowing he'd never change and what he did was wrong? She said he was always there when there was no one. "He made me feel complete." But the bitter truth was that he only took advantage of her because he knew she was emotionally weak and needed him the most. He always kept her hanging. She was stuck. She didn't know what to do and nothing helped. She couldn't stay with him or without him. He always said he'll change but no, he just lied. He lied every time.
She was always scared of getting cheated on by him. She thought she'd die if it ever happened. She thought she'd never be able to move on in life and be fully happy. She thought she'd feel incomplete without him but she knew she had to face it at some point in life. She wasn't ready for it but life took a turn again. Things were good again, he was changed and she was happy. They celebrated their 2nd anniversary and it was like a fairy-tale. Beautiful. He made her believe that he loved her the most! She was on cloud 9! They still fought but this time they were mature enough to let go off the fights and stay at peace. He always took a break during exams, he did it again. But this time, she just couldn't handle with the whole break thing. She was insecure and scared but he calmed her down and looked her in the eye and said, "I am very attached to you and this is why I'm still here. I would never leave you." That made her heart melt and she thought she should stop worrying and let him concentrate.
But something happened, something that changed everything. It was bad, it was unbelievable. He did what she was scared of and this time she couldn't avoid it nor run away from it because it was the truth. She had to face it. She finally got that one reason to forget about him and move on. She finally had to be strong and let go.. let go of him because that was the only option left. She obviously couldn't take him back after what he did, she didn't want to because he crossed all limits. He lied from the very first time they met and fell in love and he lied till the end. He didn't even regret it nor did he care. She thought to herself that her first impression of him was right.. he was arrogant, a player, an insensitive person, cruel, selfish and most of all, he was a liar! She told him that she did not expect him to cheat on her like that because she thought he cared and would never do anything to hurt her. They fought, kissed, made up, fought again, spoke like best friends, (she) shared secrets, etc. He was everything and now suddenly he was gone. He betrayed her like everyone did. But you know what the best part was? After 3 years of dating, she thought the hardest thing for her was to forget everything and move on! FORGET EVERYTHING. She thought she'd never be able to love, enjoy and be happy ever again, always feel incomplete and have trust issues regarding men that became stronger now, all because of this one guy she loved! Her feelings starting flowing. She regretted everything, everything that she ever did for him. She regretted not listening to people who warned her about him. She regretted fighting for him. She regretted because she thought of killing herself so that the pain could just end. Most of all, she regretted that she believed all his lies like a fool! She felt like she was used. She felt like trash. She was ashamed of herself for loving someone like him because he always let her down. She gave up on so many things, missed out on so many opportunities, cut off contacts with everyone he asked her to, and behaved like his slave so that he doesn't leave her, just to see that he doesn't even care or regret what he did! WOW.
And then something happened, something good, something that should have happened earlier. She decided to move on! She decided she won't take his shit anymore, she won't take him back or even look at his face. She finally realized that she doesn't deserve this , she never did. She finally realized her worth. She realized that she is beautiful and strong and she doesn't need a guy to make her smile. She understood that she is complete without him and that life was MUCH better when he wasn't around! There was less drama, no fights, no tears, no lies, no tension, no insecurity.. nothing! There was happiness! Happiness everywhere. She's happy now because she's not upset, she's not thinking too much. Her brain feels light and good. She goes out, meets new people, has a lot of new friends, she experienced her first "kick" too! :D She's grateful to God who saved her and finally answered her prayers. She is grateful to those friends who stood by her and loved her for who she is. She's finally happy after 3 years of hell! She wished that she realized this earlier, but it's better late than never..
The reason behind this post was to inspire and make all the stupid girls out there, who give in too much for a guy, realize their worth! You're beautiful, you don't deserve shit! When a stupid photo on Facebook pops in front of your eyes that says, "There is always that one guy you can't get over." trust me, it's a LIE! You can get over someone only if you want to and if at all these words don't help, I hope this song does.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-35GWbTjus
DON'T BE A FOOL LIKE HER. Moving on is great too! :)
"Don't worry about finding your soul mate. Find yourself." - Jason Evert.
